About Me

despite being self-absorbed to a concerning degree, i actually find it kind of difficult to talk about myself. ive got a relatively strong identity and sense of self, but i tend to forget my basic info because im, to put it nicely as possible, ditzy. i hate how pretentious and serious my writing style sounds, considering I can hardly form a cohesive thought verbally, but at least my writing is proof that im not as retarded most people tend to think.

ive already written about half a page of nonsense that has nothing to do with me, so im gonna cut that from the final draft and get to actually introducing myself.

hi! my names ava as im sure youve already guessed. im a 16 year old girl that has yet to outgrow her edgy 4chan-adjacent persona. im known for being a shut-in and a terrible conversationalist, among other things. ive kind of made sleepiness my gimmick, because i suffer from chronic fatigue, and i spend the majority of my day on the verge of unconsciousness (if im not asleep already).

aside from sleeping, i spend most of my free time thinking about doing things rather than actually doing them. those things include drawing, reading, playing video games, and very rarely, writing fanfiction. when i do eventually get around to doing them, though, im consistantly reminded that im kind of shit at all my hobbies. im not throwing a pity party about it though, cause I think it adds to my brand lol.

"Ashen one, hearest thou my voice, still?"

music is such a big part of my life, and it has been as long as i can remember. i honestly dont think i could live without it. with or without lyrics, songs have a way of creating an atmosphere and story that the listener can interpret in so many ways. i love that freedom, because you can weave your own stories into it with little effort. i know it sounds dumb on paper, but i take my playlists very seriously. each one has a specially picked title, picture, and tracklist. i can spend hours at a time looking for songs that match the atmosphere i want to capture, and spend even more time daydreaming to the finished playlist.

i wish i could gush about the playlists i create, but it doesnt really seem like people have the same passion for it that i do. i mean i know music is important to everyone, and im not better than anyone for being dependent on it, but its disappointing that others dont appreciate the escapism it so easily provides. i doubt anyone will read this, but if someone out there is, than i would love to hear you rant about your favourite songs, and the stories youve made with them. its always exciting to hear someone speak passionately about the things they enjoy.

just in case you were wondering, heres a condensed list of some of the artists i enjoy:

arctic monkeys pinegrove titlefight

the 1975 the front bottoms la dispute

cigarettes after sex pierce the veil modern baseball

chase atlantic starry cat two door cinema club

deftones set it off the neigbourhood

elliott smith gregory and the hawk

"The Lords have left their thrones, and must be delivered to them. To this end, I am ever at thy side."

if im being honest, i dont like tv all that much, and i absolutely hate watching movies i havent seen before. i can almost never get invested in the characters. i dont have the patience to sit through a new show or movie, and while that can kind of be blamed on tiktok, im also very critical of most media. there are, however, a handful of shows that have stuck with me over the years; whether thats because of nostalgia or the actual quality is hard to say. mostly because my taste in entertainment is cancerous.

Smiling Friends

im starting off pretty weak, because this is the most recent addition to the list of series i like. smiling friends is pretty short, there being only 9 episodes, but i loved the first two episodes so much i managed to binge the rest in a day. a lot of adult cartoons feel robotic and scripted, but the way the characters interact with each other in smiling friends is very natural. charlie is definitely the best example of this. his speech pattern sounds like a real person. zach hadel did a great job voicing him, because he was really just acting like himself. what makes this show so special to me is how awkward and realistic the characters can be when faced with surreal situations.

Angels of Death

i havent watched anime in years, and yet 4 out of 6 series on this list are from japan. i used to have quite the obsession with it though, so it makes sense that the shows that managed to stick are the things i watched during that time. when i was first discovering the internet, i was infatuated with horror rpgs; one of them being angels of death. just a few years later, an anime was released for it, and it made me fall in love all over again. its a short watch, but it seemed to check all the boxes for me. There was a female protagonist, an insane doctor, a lovestruck killer, and a character with a scythe!!!! no matter how overused the trope is, i will always be a sucker for reaper characters.

South Park

south park, in my opinion, is probably the best adult cartoon out there. although to be fair i havent seen many so i dont have a wide range of reference. i remember watching a few episodes when i was little, but i didnt become fixated on south park until about 2017. i was a leafy/idubbz/filthyfrank fan back then, so im sure you can figure out why i got into it. thankfully i dont joke about drinking bleach anymore, but i know watching this god-forsaken show hasnt evolved my sense of humor. i absolutely adore these dumb little characters, and my notes app is cluttered with headcanons for them. i cant lie though, im a bit elitist when it comes to other fans. especially children who shouldnt be watching it lmao.

Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt

and last but not least, panty and stocking. ive been a fan of this show longer than anything else on this list. im well aware that it hasnt aged well, and there are definitely a few choices that i dont love, but that doesnt stop me from rewatching it almost every year. i was a little too naive to get most of the jokes the first time around, but that didnt stop me from loving it. ive taken so much inspiration from paswg over the years, and i dont doubt that its shaped my personality in one way or another. anyways i could go on and on about this show but tldr; im gonna dickride it until i die.

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